Thursday, December 27, 2012

A moment to reflect

My house is quiet after a whirlwind couple of weeks. Thanksgiving blended into fake labor, into actual labor, straight through to Christmas and here we are. Mom and Sam are at the movies together which makes me giddy for about 1000 reasons. My kids are sleeping and there is the last little piece that makes it all perfect. I can't imagine the last few weeks without Sam on maternity leave and my mom here to cook, clean, and hold my screaming newborn, but being alone snuggled with my Zahra on my chest is wonderful. A wonderful change of pace.

I have watched our Christmas video about a half dozen times in the last hour. How silly is that? I've been with these kiddoes and Sam 24/7 for about 16 days and I've spent nearly as much time with my amazing parents and what do I do while they are all out or sleeping? I watch videos of them. Ha!

Thoughts on the last few weeks:

  • Zahra screams through nursing sessions especially during the day and most especially as we move into evening. I am counting down the weeks until 3 months, when her stomach will be much more mature. I have started substituting coconut milk for skim, daiya cheese for the good stuff, you know the drill. I am not going full dairy free and definitely not elimination diet bound yet but we will just play it out and see. I would say her stomach is significantly better than Zayd's but something is up. I think the amount of hysterical screaming associated with gas and nursing is on the upside of normal. To that end, I am also setting up an appointment with a lactation consultant. We have a lot of choking and sputtering during nursing and that might be something that we can fix. There is also a lot of talk around this house of a possible reflux diagnosis but I am the last hold out in the "she doesn't have reflux" camp. In the end, I think Z1 never had it despite the diagnosis and months of prilosec, but we will see. If we test everything else, have a professional tell us that the screaming is abnormal, then we will let the pediatrician decide. Maybe newborns are supposed to scream hysterically while eating. I've never had a healthy stomached newborn to compare it to. (I have noticed that the neighbors' babies nurse and fall off to sleep...lets just say that Zahra is considerably NOT falling asleep while nursing.)
  • Zayd is amazing. He just astounds me everyday. I want nothing more than to spend time with him. It makes me happy and helps me get through the tougher times with the littlest Mammen to be rejuvenated by a little play time with my tot. I know a lot of moms have trouble with their toddlers when the new baby arrives, or even have trouble connecting with the older one. I am probably veering in the opposite direction, if anything. He can do no wrong. Maybe he hit the baby, but he was the baby last week and it must be so hard on him. Ha ha. I am wayyyy to soft.
  • Zahra, like her brother, is so very alert. She can look right at you and is already amused by things. She LOVES the slats from the blinds and is interested in the fan. I can't wait to see what catches her eye next.
  • Zahra hasn't lost the full coat of hair on her temples and shoulders but I am happy to announce that her eyelashes have doubled in length in the last week. I am going to go out on a limb here - this girl is gonna be gorgeous!
  • Zahra snores and Zayd has started talking in his sleep. It is simply adorable on both counts. Its amazing because a few short months ago, I was afraid Zayd would never start talking and now he is busy babbling away in his dreams. I ask him every morning if he had any dreams. He almost always says yes but I have yet to hear about one. (I am using hear loosely as it would mostly be pantomime.) It is hard to know if Zayd has any idea what I am asking him.Only time will tell.
  • I married the best dad the world has ever known. It's for Sam to tell you about how amazing he is with our kids so I won't particularly go into it. I could go on for days. But he amazes me everyday and I couldn't ask for more. Honest to God. I never would have guessed how much was in him when I met him, when I married him... Even the dad he is today blows away the amazing dad I could have written about three weeks ago.  Blessed. The Z's and I are blessed.
Here is a bit of advice one mom to the next:
When you feel like maybe you aren't doing it all right, send everyone out, snuggle up with a baby, and watch a Supernanny marathon - you have never felt like a better mother.

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