Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Ten Years but I'm lucky. I still see her everywhere.

10 years ago today I spent my last day with my grandma. I can't remember the details of the day, to be honest, but I don't think she spoke with me on this day. We were past that. I remember the night. I spoke with her for hours and hours. And we were together. And some of the woman warriors of my family were there and we sang. My grandma always sang at the top of her lungs and especially in the car.

Everyone should die surrounded by people that love them. And those people should love each other. I'm personally so grateful that I had that.

I think about her all the time but 10 years is a big number. So I just wanted to write down that I love my grandma and I miss my grandma and as I watch my 3 kids play in my backyard I imagine that she might be watching them too. And she'd be really proud that they play outside. And that they think ice cream is a health food. And that they don't wear clothes what's designer names printed across the front. She was exceptionally opposed to using your body for "free advertising". She would like that they drink tea and we would all drink tea together. She'd be happy that I've sewed them pajama pants and that Zahra thinks she's going to be the president. Zayd's politics would tickle her and he is such a political boy. She would be so taken with Zahra. She's basically like my grandma with a tan. Zayd would hug her the most, and talk to her on the phone, and ask her questions about her life. Z3 is such an explosion of energy these days I honestly can't imagine he how he would fit into that world. She be impressed that he knows some of his colors, speaks with small sentences, and she'd smile at his contagious smile. But she would hate how loud he scream talks. Except maybe she wouldn't know that it's scream talking because she'd be pretty darn old.

She lived a good life and full life and I would never dare say she was taken too soon. But it wouldn't have bothered me one bit if she'd live to one hundred.

Today I'm going to light the candle that I lit at her funeral and let it burn on my dining room table. She would appreciate my table. It's solid wood and mercilessly marked up by children who act like children. And I'm going to hope that she visits me when I'm sleeping.

Saturday, March 10, 2018


Approximately one month ago Zahra brought home a letter to me that she had written at school asking me to take her to the Kiddie Park. It's the yellow letter with hearts. I promised that we would do that, but I will admit a few weeks went by without me living up to my promise.
All week I had been planning to take the kids to Kiddie Park today. It was going to be our kickoff to spring break. But I was keeping it a secret. That was going well until yesterday when Zahra came home and told me she wrote me another note about going to kiddie park. And she wanted to know when that would be happening. I spelled my secret and told her we were going first thing Saturday morning. She seemed okay with that.
We had a great day and went all out. It turns out Zayd is probably too old for the rides so we did some face painting for the big kids and let him escort Ziyan on a couple rides. Zahra and Ziyan had a blast and Zayd definitely enjoyed the arcade.
When cleaning out her backpack I found yesterday's note. It's the pink note. Ouch! "Dear Mom when are you going to take me to kiddie park? I've been wanting to go there for a long time. I want to go there. Love, Zahra." It seems I just barely avoided a really letting her down!

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Confucius Wishing Lanterns

Last weekend we headed to the Riverwalk to participate in the anual Wishing lantern ceremony with thousands of other San Antonians. It was a gorgeous night with great weather, multiculturalism, and beauty. Our kids got along and were up for the adventure and that was honestly the best part. We wrote our personal wishes "own every Lego Batman set" and "everyday can be my birthday". But we also focused on family goals "no fighting", "have a great family summer adventure", etc. I can't wait to see our wishes come true.

Originally, of course, no one wanted to go...much like the next next when we took them to see Step, Afrika! That night they ended up on stage learning a step routine and then pounding the floor in a roaring drum circle. So we had two exceptional diverse experiences in this fantastic town we call home! AND I got to prove that if you trust Mommy, mostly I provide you with some pretty spectacular experiences!

Saturday, February 17, 2018

A Great Fri-yay with my Baby

After drop-off yesterday, Ziyan and III we're free to do whatever we wanted. Nearly for a month we've had major events on Friday (drive to Houston, work, chaperone a field trip) so when we finished up our morning tea we realized we were free as birds. Inspired by a genius neighbor, we headed to South Town for our Friday fun run.
The scenery was amazing, we saw a train!, the hazelnut Chocolate croissant was to die, but Ziyan was completely uninterested in staying in his stroller. There's one photo of him attempting to escape included as proof. So we did our four miles (of me running) but he probably did an extra mile of his own. We stopped a lot but we had a great adventure. He's one fantastic kiddo.

Friday, January 26, 2018


It's a sad rainy day and it's the first day that sion's flu doesn't seem to be getting the better of him. So after spending an hour at our favorite taco shop we had to think of something else to do!

I brilliantly remembered that the fire station will let kids climb all through the fire truck and asked him if he wanted to see a fire truck. His eyes lit up and he was so excited. When we drove towards the Terrell Hills fire department they had a truck parked right out front. Perfect! Below you can see exactly how close Ziyan is willing to get to a fire truck before he cries.

There are no photos of my adorable toddler climbing all through the truck because when I put him inside he screamed. And then he asked to drive so I put him inside behind the wheel and he screamed. It was all rather embarrassing. We'll just try again later in the week with the big kids to help him along.

It's going to be a long rainy day.