Friday, July 29, 2016

Mornings with Ziyan

This was the kids' second week of camp and I really enjoyed it. Ziyan and I spent tons of time together and I even got to do some crafty projects while he slept.

After I drop the Z1 and Z2 at school I realized this was a strangely bearable morning for a run. It has been raining the last couple days so there's cloud cover. It was still 90 degrees but I ran along the river with Ziyan in the stroller. He weighs almost nothing and it was a little breezy so it was actually quite nice. Well, nice for being terrible, but that's kind of the point.

Lately there's been lots of whispered opportunities about working more.  When I'm home there's nowhere else I would rather be. When I'm at work, it feels like I need so much more time there to accomplish the goals I have for myself. Part time work is a blessing but it has so many hidden nuances and intricacies that also make it a struggle. While there are lots of things about a full time job that are appealing to me, I would/do struggle with losing this quiet morning, all the mornings like these. The kids are about to start back at school and I will miss them but it will be great to get to know my third baby. To get to spend my Thursdays and Fridays with him and snuggle him the way I got to love on the other two. Or maybe the way I snuggled Zayd. Because with Zahra there was never the time that I'm getting now. We are both lucky that she is a girl and we will spend our whole lives together. I tell her that all the time. I think about my mom and how I'd rather see a movie with her or go to dinner with her or do anything with her and can only hope that my daughter feels the same way about me.

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