Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Missing some Zs

I am in Maryland for work and have left Daddy in charge of the lentil and lolly. He seems to be doing rather well and the Mahncke Mom cadre of support starts tomorrow so I think my Mammens are going to pull through. (In other words, Zayd has playdates starting tomorrow to see them through their last few days.)

So, it takes a village. I have the book but I haven't yet read it. Someday when I have "free time". I suppose now would be the most opportune occasion but I left the book at home.

I have enjoyed getting home from work with a clean slate, napping, and watching hours on end of Downtown Abbey but the truth is I am not at all nostalgic for the days when I had this freedom. When I had it, it felt like an absence of something better to do because that's exactly what it was. When you don't have kids you "take for granted" that you can decide on any night of the week to see a movie or skip dinner all together. I remember being pregnant with Zayd and people telling me, "Go to a nice restaurant while you still can!" "Go to the movies before its too late." "You should travel!" "Sleep now" - always followed by a condescending laugh. But, honestly , if you think about it those not-yet-parents aren't taking anything for granted; there's nothing really that wonderful about having no obligations to little ones.

The real joy is having the kids and sneaking out for a movie with your husband. Or getting the littles to bed and then feeling the "freedom" of your short evening that belongs just to you.

So instead of warning young pregnant or adopting mothers what they need to squeeze in before all heck breaks loose, perhaps we should tell them the way they will learn to appreciate so much more of the lives they get to live once they are mothers. And how you'll never miss the sleep as much as you miss their newborn days. And how it only gets better from here.

Tonight Sam got to take Zayd to gymnastics for a ribbon ceremony. That is something I'm sad to miss.

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