I was Right All Along

Yesterday, Sam and I had the midwife appointment that I had been waiting for. It was the kind of appointment where I felt I was heard, taught valuable things about pregnancy and birth, and nurtured by a woman who knew more about this process than I do but was helpful without being overbearing or (even worse) condescending.

We met with Jennifer yesterday and though I would rather not compare her to my old OB, it is the easiest way to describe to you all how she succeeded where I felt others had been failing me.

Pediatricians - We asked about circumcision and she said that in the third trimester we would have a meeting and talk about how to find a pediatrician - how to interview, how to figure out what matters to you, where to begin your search, etc. She offered to give us some references now if we wanted but assured us we'd still have a thorough discussion in a couple of months. Two weeks ago, the OB asked us where we lived and assigned us a pediatrician that she trusts based on geographic location. I never even got his name but its in our file at the hospital. It's not necessarily true that one of these methods of healthcare is wrong and the other is right. But it is certainly the case that one of these aligns so closely with what I expect from the woman assisting me through pregnancy and the other response makes me feel completely left out of the process.

Headaches - she saw from my notes that I have headaches and asked me to describe when and where in my head I usually have them. I have complained about these persistent headaches to the old doc, our first midwife, and now Jennifer. I told her all about them, they are in my forehead and they are with me when I wake up. She said that this is probably due to low blood sugar from going all night without eating. She told me that I needed to be eating consistently and that protein (NOT OJ!) is the best way to regulate your blood sugar over the long haul. She recommended that I eat a handful of nuts when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. (In contrast, my OB said, "Well, all you can take is Tylenol, so take two extra strength.") One thing that the midwife said that I loved was something like the following, "This is a good time to get accustomed to that type of schedule because you are going to have to wake every 2-3 hours and feed that beautiful baby or yours. So, its good to teach you body now that it needs nutrition, also." Simple but sweet and overwhelmingly positive. What a positive outlook on getting up every three hours to eat a handful of nuts. So, at three am this morning, I woke up with a horrible headache and the need to pee. I ate seven hazelnuts and downed a glass of water before returning to bed. When I woke up at 6, my head felt fine. FINE! I cannot tell you what a relief it is to roll out of bed without a stabby foggy head. Even more, how often does a medical professional give you a solution that actually works? Well, a solution that isn't a prescription, I suppose.

When I told her that I might be occasionally dealing with a higher level of anxiety than the average pregnant woman, she said, "Tell me about it." It was such a relief. And I did tell her about it, all about the many things that cause me "headaches" and prevent me from being calm. She didn't recommend that I speak with a psychologist, she just let me speak with her. And it helped and built our relationship instantaneously.

I was positively giddy about our appointment all evening long and rode that cloud of positivity straight through today. I finally feel like I know what I am doing and I am on the right path to creating the birth experience I would like to have. Now, according to my hippy dippy book, I simply have to visualize it. :)

Just to clarify, at the birthing center we are using there are four midwives and we will have one appointment with each during this trimester. That way we get to meet everyone and determine who best fits with us. So far, Jennifer is in the lead but we have two more ladies to meet with. We will then, sometime in the third trimester, pick a primary and secondary midwife for the birth day.

P.S. Sam would like me to refer to the midwife somewhere in the post as my "witchdoctor". So, that satisfies that request. He likes to make jokes about us all burning incense and waving dream catchers over the baby during midwife appointments. Its all nonsense but he LIVES for the opportunity to poke fun at his "hippy-esque" wife. I am just grateful that he participates in this slightly left-of-center childbirth process. What a lucky couple little Zayd and I are.